they say liars are among us... and so i smile.

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LITTLE MISS PERFECT

June 11, 2010

why is it easy to judge people? when they learned about the truth, they stayed away from me. i know they don’t want to make it so obvious but i can feel it. i am not numb, stupid or anything for not even figuring out that they had judged me right there and then.

why? for all i care.

i don’t want to be so emotional about this but i think i just need to let this out. i don’t have to regret sharing my experiences to them beacuse it is my decision in the first place and i am the major contributor of my pathetic condition right now. or well, at least they should have been more discrete on their reaction regarding what i have just confessed to them. well, my situation isn’t normal after all. and i chose this. who, for righteous minds’ sake would accept and establish a relationship with your own teacher despite the legalities and rules that you could possibly break and people you would be stepping in. this situation made me realize the fact that i actually go for what’s going to make me happy but i NEVER used my mind. i am always after my instinct and that’s quite wrong.

i tend to be illogical with my decisions and then regretting them after experiencing the dilemma brought by my inconsistencies. i hate myself for not being able to change this bad habit or attitude of mine. little by little i feel like i am losing my worth as a person. sometimes i am thinking if there is still a room for change for me. i hope there still is.

the worse part in here is that the person i am fighting for is the one who has given me up already.

i don’t want to think this is karma. have i been so bad and mean all along? i don’t actually know what i’ve been fighting for. i’ve seen and criticized how others can be so mean against me. and this is the payment for being so mataray i guess. but i the truth is I AM VERY MUCH MISINTERPRETED.

Posted by lorainejimenez at 2:10 pm | permalink

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